Men are so fuckin weak dude I swear. Women are out there grindin like nothing’s wrong while bleeding out of their vaginas 7 days a month, cramps so bad we can barely function, pushing a human out of our hoohas, taking pills that fuck with our horomones just so you can hit it raw and you have the damn nerve to judge the size of our hips that have birthed the civilizations of the world like they were made to be admired by you? No. Next time you get flicked in the balls I don’t wanna hear u talk about how it’s so much harder being a man. Damn. Shout out to women. Don’t let men tell you shit.
(via mechagrl)
| Girlfriend: | You hang up first |
| Boyfriend: | No, you |
| Girlfriend: | No, *soulja boy voice* YOUUUUUU |
| Boyfriend: | *hangs up* |
So you’re going to Firefly and it’s your first time camping at a music festival, you’re probably a) thinking you’ll wait until shortly before the festival to grab what you need and prepare or b) overly obsessing about getting every detail perfectly right for your stay in The Woodlands. I’m here to tell you to scratch both of those ideas. While it never really helps to wait until last minute to do anything (I’m looking at you, procrastinators), obsessing way in advance about something is going to create a neurotic vibe around your festival experience! Allow me to help you transition from festival newbie to seasoned professional all in one page.
What to bring: Great outfits, good snacks, and your super cool instant camera are obvious choices, but I’m here to remind you of those small things that you aren’t going to remember until you need them. Of course you need a tent but make sure to get one that fits the parameters of the camp space and is at least two people more than the amount of people actually sleeping in the tent- this is to give an ample amount of space to sleep and not be uncomfortably close to your camping buddies. Think of this as an actual camping trip so bring the essentials: bug spray, a lantern, flashlights, a first aid kit, a sleeping bag/pillow, non-perishable food, LOTS OF WATER (I cannot stress this enough), a refillable water bottle, everything you need to pitch your tent (steaks, a small mallet, and a tarp), sensible shoes (sneakers and boots for possible rain), a backup battery for your phone, your phone charger, breathable clothes (for those unbearably hot days), SUNSCREEN (for those who are as pale as me), and a pair of shades to keep your eyes safe from those UV Rays. But two of the most important things you’ll need to bring are a good attitude and an open mind.
How to camp: I highly suggest that you set up your space upon arrival. The earlier you do it, the more time you have to lounge before the festival starts! If you’re all set up and see someone in need of assistance, lend a helping hand! Be mindful of your neighbors and try not to be intensely eager and loud at 7am. Yet also make the effort to try and get to know your neighbors, you’re going to be living next to them for four days. Getting to know your neighbors creates a more comfortable and inviting camping space and experience.
What to experience: This weekend is all about the memories you’re going to create- so live in each moment and don’t stress the small things. See the headliners, but maybe see a band that you’ve never heard of before. Make friends with that stranger standing next to you in the crowd for Mumford and Sons. If someone looks thirsty-extend your water bottle. The most important thing to remember is to send out good vibes and have a great time. Keep in mind that all of the work involved only creates a better festival experience for you!
| The Pope: | Climate change is a real and present danger. |
| Republicans: | Alright Mr. Pontihat, why don't you leave science to the scientists. |
| 97% of Scientists: | Climate change is a real and present danger. |
| Republicans: | God said Adam and Eve not Adam and Barometer. |
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